“If we’re willing to stand in the other person’s shoes”, President Biden

President Biden stated today, “if we’re willing to stand in the other person’s shoes, as my mom would say, just for a moment, stand in their shoes” - YES – finally. 

I have been thinking a great deal about the value we place on experience over empathy – our ability to stand in someone else’s shoes. Last year the pandemic took us by surprise, but were the consequences of actions taken by our leaders really that surprising?

What did you expect would happen when you take away all the support systems for families, especially for SEND families?  Did you really expect all schools to be ready to move to online learning within a matter of weeks?  Did you expect all families to have devices at home and reliable broadband access to enable the move to online learning? How did you expect families to feed themselves without income, school meals or community services?

I and many other working parents could have accurately predicted the outcome. This was not rocket science and none of it was surprising.

However, what has astonished me, is the lack of empathy from many of our leaders.  We also seem to live in a society where we have valued experience and education over empathy.    

Don’t get me wrong, experience and education are important, but empathy is essential. Whether you are in business, in government, or really anywhere in leadership, you need to have empathy. I used to find it fascinating that employers never understood the logistics of working families; how parents managed drop offs, pickups and holidays until they themselves had children. Was it really that hard to work out? All it took was some empathy.

You don’t need experience to understand that if you shut down schools, the economy and, carer support systems, it is just a matter of time before you begin destroying lives. I know that, not because of my personal circumstances, but because I can put myself in that situation. What would I do if I had no income, if I had two children at home, one child with special needs who needs routine, constant therapy and attention, and another child who needs help with on-line learning? How would I care for both? How would I pay the rent? Who will stay with them when I need to go out and buy groceries? When will I have time to do all the domestic chores? How do I find another job? How do I keep my family healthy – mentally and physically? 

To all those in leadership positions, if you have to have a child, lose a child or have to care for a sick child for you to know what it feels like, then you are not geared up to be a leader.  If you need to have a gay son to accept the gay community or to understand the discrimination the gay community faces, you are not geared up to be a leader.  If you decide that feeding a family for a week on 30 GBP per week is acceptable or if, whilst supplying those meals you drop the value of the food package to under 7 GBP per week, you are definitely not geared up to lead.  And it’s not just for the Government; how can you as a business leader inspire, manage your team or support your customers if you cannot put yourself in their shoes and feel their experience? 

It is time for our leaders to stand in someone’s else’s shoes, someone less fortunate, someone from a different background. It’s time for our leaders to empathize and for us all to value empathy over experience.